The Agony of an Indian Son, Husband, Father.....

Disclaimer: This post is completely imaginary and bears no resemblance to any living being or incident. These are just my thoughts and may be a little bit of sarcasm around the topic. Pure fiction! Hope you enjoy reading :)

_________________________________________________________________________________

I was born in a small town of Uttar Pradesh in a Kayastha joint family. My father is a government employee working as a clerk and earns only so much that we can live by ourselves. We obviously cannot save anything and my mother always kept dreaming of living a life which is full of fun, frolic, holidays and jewellery! While I was growing up, I kept listening to my mother blaming my paternal grand parents for all the hardships and problems we have faced so far and saw her crying many a times whenever she would retaliate to what my father or grand parents would say. In our kind of families, females are not allowed to argue much with the in-laws as it was considered rude, even if the in-laws beat her up at times.

During my younger years, I used to go to the school with a dream in my eyes. The dream was to become a cricketer, just like Sachin Pa Ji. I was growing up seeing him smashing some of the best bowlers in the world and slowly becoming the best batsman in the world - but I was completely unaware, that my father and grandfather had already decided what I will be in life. While I was waiting for my board results, I was told that I have to become a doctor and suddenly the entire family started looking up to me to take care of all the hardships they were facing. Suddenly all my relatives starting talking about me being a doctor soon and taking the family's boat to the bank of river. I was zapped, suddenly I wasn't allowed to play cricket with my friends, I was told that playing is only good while you have your holidays, but now you need to prepare for your Pre Medical Test!!! 

One fine day, when I was fast asleep, batting on 98 with Sachin Pa Ji on the other end against Pakistan and almost hit a six on an Akhtar delivery (off-course in my dream), my Chachu woke me up aggressively! My mother was crying and my grand parents almost in a state of shock. Everyone looked stunned around me and I woke up to the news of my father in the neighborhood nursing home. He suffered a brain hamerage and doctors said, he was critical. With whatever little contribution we got from my father's office - it was time for my mother to say good bye to her last set of ornaments! With a lot of hardships and prayers, I saw my father back at home after 20 odd days. I finally decided I will sacrifice my dream and hooked my family's expectations on to me :( From this day, I became just a spectator....

Life changed, I got into one of the top medical colleges and went on to my final year with fantastic grades. My professors and colleagues thought I had the makings of a game changer medico! But listen to me, I fell in love - with this charming girl who studied with me these past few years and also loved me like crazy. We had our dreams set for when we become doctors. A nice career, small home, car and other material happiness' clubbed with the "sufiana" love that we shared all this while. But I was stupid enough not give any attention to the last name of this girl! She was a muslim girl named Ayesha, who haled from a very conservative family in "Dilli 6" - obviously we had sent an invite to many problems by just falling for each other. I was quite confident that when I speak to my family and they wont let my feelings suffer. However, when I spoke to them, I came to know I have already been fixed with the daughter of my father's colleague who is a childhood friend. I was told that there is no other option then to marry this girl, because there is a decent amount of money that my family is supposed to get from this girl's family as "dowry". Despite knowing all my life, that dowry is a crime - I was now forced to tell my dream girl that I cannot marry her now.

We were in Darjeeling and it was our first night together. Her sisters and friends were calling her up to tease her ahead of the nuptial night and I was nervous as hell. I gathered some courage and went up to her to tell her about my first love and the time I may take to adjust with her in life. Manisha, I called her name with a lot  of hesitation in my voice - she looked up to me and before I could utter another word, she said "I don't love you. It is impossible for me to come close to you". Life suddenly stopped for me, it was also because of the rejection I got from Manisha. I stood my ground, calmly smiled and told her - "its ok Manisha, I can understand. Please take your time, I will wait". I forgot to introduce my wife, Manisha to you - an interior designer by profession already earning in 5 figures and living alone in Delhi since her 8th standard. She obviously believed that life is what you want to make it and not what you get. But maybe because of her family, she had to marry me. But she was in love with this guy called John, her colleague with similar mindsets and values. She told me that John and her have decided to stay together and hence she cannot be with me. It is because of her family that she is staying with me, but there can be nothing more than this between the two of us. I was broken, every single, moment I spent with Ayesha came right in front of my eyes. I decided to cut short our honeymoon, and come back sooner then expected and told my family that I had work to sort out hence could not continue the trip. It was my parents' wrinkled faces that held me back keep quite and let life take its turns from here on.

John din't stay in Manisha's life for very long. After another 2 years of relationship they broke up, leaving Manisha completely shattered. She had almost lost hopes from life and decided to slip in her own shell. We never had anything going, but I was slowly getting fond of her. I realized that this perhaps is the only time when I can have my life back on track and give some support to her as well. I decided to keep aside all my anger and told her that I am with her. I wanted to do this for another reason, in our society, if a female gets into a situation like Manisha was in, she certainly cannot live an easy life. Her career would have taken a toll too. Not to mention, my family would have suffered badly. I extended a warm hand to her and slowly, she accepted it too.

I am happily married now, we all find happiness eventually, and have an angel called "Gauri" who is studying fashion technology with a leading institute in Delhi. Gauri has bought the much needed love and affection in our lives - she is the only child who survived out of the 3 kids we had, obviously she is more than special for us. We have done everything possible to ensure that the  frown on her face remains "upside down". Even she has done everything to ensure that we feel proud parents. I was more than sure that she won't turn my word down ever. This was her 22nd birthday and I decided to gift her something special. I thew a suprize party for her and decided to let her meet this wonderful guy I met a few days ago at a family function. I had already spoke to his parents about a possible lifelong association between our families and invited this boy to meet her. However, much before I announced it in the party, she introduced me to this guy called Veer whom Gauri loved and they had been together for a couple of months now. Gauri announced Veer's arrival in her life in front of the entire family (may be thinking that we will never say no to her decision as important as a life partner). I was shocked, but could not utter a word after noticing that sparkle in the eyes of my angel. I decided to apologize to the guy I had invited and because the pressure of my daughter's expectations and society, accepted Veer in our family!

In my life so far, there have been many instances when I had to sacrifice my dreams and wishes just because as an Indian Son, Husband and Father I have always thought in a very fearful manner. I was always afraid of  "The Society", whom no one could define to me till date. I always thought, how will my decisions effect my and my family's life adversely in a society.
_________________________________________________________________________________

We all talk about the sacrifice of Indian girls, which can certainly not be questioned at any stage, but somewhere, we forget about what an Indian Man does for his family. He often goes unnoticed with his silent efforts, because he is afraid and does not cry easily! This was an imagination about just one of the wonderful men India has produced... I am sure we have many more different stories....

Just an effort!!! Hope you enjoyed reading!!!

Cheers
Sumit